I Don't Feel Like Loving You Today
by siliana blue
Summary: One Shot. KaiRay. If you know the song I lent the title from, you may get an idea what this story might be about  R&R plz


Again a one shot. One I wrote quite a long time ago. It's a Kai/Ray though this time. Actually the time in which this was my favorite paring is long gone, but I couldn't let it go to waste, so here it is. Hope you all like it anyway. I kind of like the mood of the whole thing and - honestly - Tyson wouldn't have been fit for this kind of story, now would he?

For the disclaimer: I don't own anything concerning beyblade or Gretchen Wilson's "I Don't Feel Like Loving You Today". I just like the song. Although the lyrics aren't in any way essential for the story. So if you don't like songfics just skip them.

Now, enjoy reading. Despite my various misktakes in grammar & co.

* * *

I Don't Feel Like Loving You Today

* * *

Silently a key was turned in the lock of their front door. Immediately Ray felt rage well up again. As the door was barely audible opened, he briefly glanced over to the digital numbers of the clock of the video recorder that were glowing in the dark: 6.23 am. That wasn't late anymore, that was early! Early in the morning, damnit! That bastard!

"_Ray, it's going to get a bit later"_, he had said on the phone. _A bit later_. It had been 8 pm then. Exactly two minutes after Ray had put the last pot on the mahogany dinner table. And that's where it still was. And to think what effort it had been to cook all that! It had been supposed to be a special evening. It was their third anniversary, and for the first time they would be able to celebrate it in the house they lived in together. Only one month ago Ray had moved in here, in Kai's mansion in Moscow. For more than two years they had been living in a remote relationship. And even so Kai had come to Tokyo as often as possible, the weeks and months during which his job wouldn't allow him to even leave Russia had been far too many. Therefore they had finally decided to move in together. It had taken weeks to organize everything, but now he was here. Ray had been hoping that now they would have more time for each other, but it hadn't taken him long to notice that Kai's work claimed much more time than he had thought. He left at dawn and returned in late evening. Never before 8 pm, most of the time it was even past ten and often even later. Even the weekends were filled with work. On Fridays he returned home, carrying tons of files and papers with him, and disappeared for hours in his study, the whole weekend through – even on Sundays. But Ray understood – he really did. Most of the time at least. He forced back his disappointment and tried his best to be there for Kai whenever the Russian wasn't drowning in work. And he treasured those few moments in which Kai belonged solely to him and no one else. It was okay this way, he could live with that.

But yesterday evening had been something entirely different. Kai had promised. He had promised him to come home early. At 8 pm he had told him he'd come home – punctual. They had planned to have dinner in the grand dining room which they never really used because for just the two of them it wasn't really worthwhile lighting the enormous fireplace with its beautiful stucco works. Ray had been looking forward to hours of talking and loving glances, surrounded by candlelight, eating a delicious four-course menu. He had spent the whole day in the kitchen, preparing said dinner, setting up candles everywhere and arranging the table 'til everything had been perfect. He had even lit the fire at noon already, so that it would be warm and cosy in the big room when Kai would come home.

And then the telephone had rung. _"I'm sorry"_, he'd said. _"I'll come home as soon as I can"_, he'd said. _"Don't wait with dinner."_ And that had been when Ray had known that _'a bit later'_ had been the understatement of the year. A varnishing of facts. The correct translation probably would have been _'Til I come home, dinner will be cold and you sound asleep already'_. But he had waited. Hoping that Kai would despite everything be just about half an hour late, he hadn't touched the food, had left all the pots and plates standing on the table and lit the candles in advance. Afterwards he had made himself comfortable in the velvet covered armchair near the fireplace, from which he could see the entrance hall and had waited. And waited. 30 minutes became an hour. An hour became two hours and in the end he had watched the moon travelling all his way across the star spangled night sky through the broad windows across of him, until it had disappeared in the first rays of the rising sun. And with each passing hour his rage had grown. It had been supposed to be a special evening. And Kai had promised him!

* * *

I don't feel like loving you today  
So don't you even try to change my mind  
The best thing you can do right now  
Is just go away  
'Cause I don't feel like loving you today

* * *

He could hear Kai's tired steps, the rustling of his coat as he hung it up on the wardrobe. Finally he saw his imposing figure standing in the doorway. He saw the dark shadows rimming his eyes and knew immediately that he had been working all night through. And under usual circumstances that would have caused his pity. He knew of the stress Kai had nowadays, knew that he got less sleep than would have been good for him, even if he didn't return home at dawn. He could see his slumped shoulders, the unnaturally pale colour of his cheeks, could see how loose his normally perfectly fitting trousers hung around his hips. Every other day he would have went over to him, rapped his arms around him and kissed him, would have shoved him down on the sofa and made coffee and some breakfast. But not today. Today he was just furious.

Kai's gaze strayed from the perfectly set table with its burned down candles and artistically folded napkins over to Ray, whose red rimmed eyes despite all tiredness held a furious glow. Immediately his shoulders slumped even more.

"Ray, I'm so s—"

"I don't wanna hear it!"

Hearing the raged tone of Ray's voice, Kai's head shot up in alarm. "Ray, I –"

"No, Kai. Whatever excuse you think you have, I just don't wanna hear it! I don't wanna hear _anything_! Every other day it wouldn't have been that bad. Every other day I would have just put away the dishes and gone to sleep. But yesterday just _wasn't_ every other day, Kai! You _promised_ me!"

With every word Ray's rage crept closer to the surface. He knew that if he wouldn't stop talking now, he'd most likely say something he'd regret later on. He was dead tired, hadn't slept all night and seeing the now uneatable dinner standing on the untouched table didn't exactly help calming him down either. It required all of his willpower to control his rage but in the end he somewhat managed to do so. Almost.

"Just… go…", he finally managed to say, voice tired, he himself no more than a miserable heap, seeming kinda lost in the oversized armchair he was sitting in. "Just go, Kai."

Kai didn't even try to say anything in return or give excuses. And normally that should have been somewhat satisfying to Ray. But as he saw the usually proud standing Russian turn wordlessly, defeated expression in his eyes, the strangest kind of bad conscious crept into his mind. After hearing the heavy front door falling closed alarmingly quiet, sadness and disappointment was all that was left of his rage.

* * *

I don't want to talk about last night  
I'm angry and I haven't had much sleep  
I'm so tired and bloodshot  
There ain't no telling what I'd say  
'Cause I don't feel like loving you today

* * *

Later on Ray wouldn't have been able to tell how long he had been sitting in the by now detested armchair. Eventually he got up and began cleaning up the table. He had expected his rage to come back as he dumped the pitiful remains of his efforts to prepare the perfect dinner into the waste bin, but it didn't. Instead there was just worry. Worry about Kai. Where had he gone to? On his way to the kitchen he noticed Kai's black coat hanging untouched on a hook at the wardrobe. He had left the house without it! Alarmed he turned his gaze to the small window in the front door. It was snowing! And not just a little bit like he was used to from Japan, no, thick heavy flakes! The wind blew them right up to the door, the streets were already covered in thick layers of white and their neighbours' house he couldn't even see anymore through the curtain of white.

Worry gave way to fear. Kai was outside in this weather, without a warming coat, hopelessly overtired and most likely not having eaten anything during the last 24 hours. Normally Ray wouldn't have worried at all. Kai was used to the cold of Russia, it didn't bother him that much. But due to the lot of work, close to no sleep and anything but regular meals his health had become somewhat unsteady. During the past few weeks he had lost some weight and Ray had caught him more than once as he had tried to suppress a sneeze. To no avail most of the time. If he was outside now, in this weather… he didn't even want to think about it.

He tried to calm down by telling himself that Kai was smart enough to take shelter in a café or something in this weather. Surely he was sitting in some cosy place right now, drinking steaming hot coffee and admiring the falling flakes through a well insulated window. The thought eased his worry slightly, at least until his gaze fell upon the inconspicuous black briefcase standing on the floor beside the wardrobe. Kai's briefcase. He had left without it. He had probably forgotten about it in his… rage? What again meant that he hadn't any money with him. What again meant that he couldn't have gone to a café. What again meant that he really _was_ outside in this weather, probably freezing to death this very moment!

All rage forgotten Ray grabbed his own coat, carefully buttoning it, rapped his thick woollen scarf which Kai had given him as a welcoming gift tightly around his neck and rushed out the house, Kai's coat firmly tugged under his arm.

* * *

But you know I will anyway  
Even though we make it hard sometimes  
I'll wind up forgiving you and probably loving you  
For the rest of my life…

* * *

Casting searching looks in every direction Ray hurried through the snow covered streets of Moscow, well aware of the fact that by now he gave a perfect impression of a snowman on two legs, thick snowflakes decorating his raven locks like a cap, the colour of his coat barely recognizable underneath the wintry white. He could feel his shoes and jeans slowly becoming soaked and icy cold. The chattering of his teeth he couldn't restrain any longer mingled with the rhythmic sound of his footsteps on the muddy pavement. But he didn't care. All that mattered was Kai. He had to find him. And fast.

Somewhere in the back of his mind a little voice told him that his worry was completely exaggerated, that Kai was more than capable of taking care of himself. And deep inside he knew this voice was right. But his bad conscious kept telling him to keep searching. He had been the one who had driven Kai out the house._ 'Just go'_ he'd said. Without thinking about how Kai would probably take his words in literal sense…

He kept running, colliding with passer-bys again and again as he got nearer to downtown and its shops and restaurants. He kept scanning the crowd in hopes of seeing a glimpse of blue hair somewhere between them. But nothing. No trace of Kai. Where could he be? It wasn't that far to downtown, that much he admitted, but he had been running all the way, he should have caught up to Kai long ago…

There was probably no point in keeping up this searching. Most likely Kai had already returned home, sitting in front of the crackling fire, warming himself up and wondering where the hell Ray had gone. He'd just go home, check if Kai was home already and if he was, he'd say sorry. If not, he'd just have to wait for his love and make some tea for him to warm himself up when he returned.

Just as Ray was about to turn and head home, he saw it. Behind a fogged up window through which he could detect a warm glow, he vaguely recognized the shimmering of blue and grey hair. Lifting his gaze a bit he could see a small sign with the words "CAFÉ VIGO" written on it.

Immediately he felt relief cursing through his body. In the end the voice inside his head had been right. Kai was save, warm and if his eyes weren't betraying him, there was a steaming mug placed on the small table in front of him.

Not wanting to loose any more time Ray crossed the street with long strides and – accompanied by the welcoming jingle of a bell above the door – stepped into the warm atmosphere of the small café. He knew the "Vigo". And he knew that Kai liked to come here for some peace and quiet. At the weekends they sometimes came here together for breakfast. Ray always ordered hot chocolate, for the "Vigo" had the best hot chocolate in a 1000 miles radius.

Soundlessly Ray stepped up to Kai's table. As his long shadow fell on the stoic Russian's form, the latter looked up with a questioning look. Seeing Ray standing there however, he immediately cast his look down again, studying the black surface of his half full cup of coffee. Ray didn't exactly know what to say, and so he just sat down opposite Kai. After a while of tense silence he couldn't bear it any longer.

"You had me worried", came his soft voice.

Kai showed no reaction. He just kept staring at his cup. Ray knew this silence. The Russian was waiting for an explanation.

"You left without a coat. And you forgot your briefcase. It was snowing like crazy, and with this icy wind… Wearing just a suit and having no money with you… I was really worried…"

Again there was no answer. Kai just wordlessly reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out the black leather purse Ray had given him for a present last Christmas. He placed it on the table beside him and looked at Ray demandingly. Obviously he was waiting for an explanation for something else…

This time it was Ray who cast his look down on the table. He knew he had been overreacting. Okay, he hadn't been angry for nothing, but literally throwing Kai out of the house – _his_ house nonetheless – without giving him a chance to explain the reason for his delay…

"I'm sorry, Kai. I know I should have at least let you explain yourself. I just… You had promised me to come home early, just this once. At the moment, we have close to no time for each other… And I thought, just this one night, we could… I was really looking forward to it, and then… I know you told me on the phone not to wait for you, but… I had just hoped, that…"

"I'm sorry, Ray."

Ray raised his head to look at Kai. The slate haired Russian looked at him urgently.

"I know how you were looking forward to it. And I really had hoped to finish work in time, but during the past weeks the company's just… there's just… chaos everywhere. Would I have left at 8 like I promised I would have kept thinking of my work all night. It just… didn't seem fair…" His voice seemed to disappear somewhere in the small distance between them, his eyes once again turned back to his still steaming cup. "I'm sorry for all the effort you spent on dinner, the candles… I just wanted that the time we spend together for once belonged solely to us, that you wouldn't have to share it with the company."

Slowly but surely his bad conscious once again began to nag at Ray. If he had just listened to Kai earlier… The Russian lifted his gaze once again and looked straight into Ray's golden eyes while continuing to speak.

"That's why I worked late yesterday. I wanted to finish everything so that I wouldn't have to think about all which still has to be done. So I pulled an all-nighter in exchange for a day off today. I tried to explain but you where so damn furious… I'm sorry…"

Ray looked at him disbelievingly. He had taken a day off? Just for him? He had kept working all night through just to spend the whole day with him today? Without wasting one single thought to the company? Ray could feel the broadest smile ever creeping onto his face. Oh god, how he loved that guy!

"Okay, so… if that's the case – then I'd like to order a big cup of hot chocolate now!"

And Kai more than gladly fulfilled his wish…

* * *

The End

That's it. Please let me know if you liked it or not. Thanks a lot.


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